Yes, I know this is a difficult subject to answer, but this is one of my favorite ways to introduce ourselves to your world. I have many of my friends who want to adopt new children, but only one of whom I know is actually willing to try it. I have more than a few kids who want to become parents, but the majority of my friends would rather adopt a child alone than one who is already a parent.
Both of these are valid points. For one, why do you want to adopt a child? And how will you know if you or she is ready? These are the two hardest questions to answer honestly. If you don’t know yourself, how do you know if you are ready to adopt a child? For another, what type of child do you hope to have? Most people don’t actually get asked these questions until they have adopted a child.
I used to have a hard time answering these questions. I thought that I would have to give up a child to a family member or a friend, or that I would have to adopt a child as an orphan. In the end, I ended up with a child who had to be adopted by me.
You can do a little research and find out what types of people are willing to adopt a child. The more people you learn about their life and their adopted child’s chances of survival, the clearer the picture of which type of child you want to adopt.
Open adoption, or in the jargon they used in the states, it’s a process where the child is in a foster home (or foster care) until they are adopted. By open adoption the child is not actually a child, but they are the child of another adult, usually a foster parent. In this case the child is adopted without the foster parent knowing or caring about the child for several years. The foster parent may even be the child’s biological parent.
Closed adoption is a process where the child is actually a child, but the parent is deceased, the child is adopted without the adoptive parents knowing the child, or the adoptive parents are unaware of their child. In this case the child is an adopted adult without the adoptive parents knowing the child.
Closed adoption is typically the most common, but not necessarily the most common for a child. One case a few years ago was where an adopted child had a birth mother who was a sex offender. Since the birth mother was not aware of her child, the judge ruled that the birth mother was open about the child.
One of the challenges for open adoption is that the birth mother is not always around to be fully aware of the identity of the child. This means that the child may not know he or she is an adopted child until some point in their life. It also means that the adoptive parents may not think to ask if the birth mother is the child’s birth mother. Many people assume that the birth mother is the child’s birth mother, when in reality, that assumption is often incorrect or inaccurate.
The same is true of open adoption. If the birth mother is not around to meet the child, there will be no way to tell if the child is their child. This means that there is a lot more chance of a child being mistaken for an adopted child.
The good news is that the birth mother can usually be easily identified and a lot of information can be shared with the birth mother with the adoptive parents. This is done in a couple of steps. The birth mother can be contacted on the phone or e-mail. If she is contacted, she can be asked to come in and meet the child.
